Highway Ahead

Once we get on the highway we will start to make some headway. But I’ll be driving faster, and we’ll talk about different things. I just want to make sure you remember everything about me. That I suffered an acute form of postpartum depression. I know I almost left you, but you have been a…

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Silver Chain

I wear one. I bought it for myself. It’s nothing fancy but it’s real. As I kissed Sergio goodbye he grabbed it. He didn’t want to let go of it. I pulled it from his fingers and shut the door. I lit up as my children were driven away. Now comes my question for you.…

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Oh Fiddlesticks, It’s Friday

I’m climbing in the car, off to visit my children. And when I come home I’ll be full of sadness and regret and longing. What feelings for a Friday. It’s a two hour drive north, through some of Illinois’ finest small towns (and I ride as a passenger due to DCFS rules. With a great…

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Hospital Happenings

I told them that I must have smoked laced weed. That someone must have been putting something in my coffee. I felt drugged. I was manic, but that’s how it feels. My blood tests came back negative for everything besides a small amount of THC (I won’t lie to y’all and say I’m an angel).…

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What Happened Next

After they took my children, ripping them away from me as if I were truly an alligator wrapped around them in the backseat of the cop car, they got us into the hospital. I was put in a bed, probably a triage unit, and asked questions. All I wanted was water and to see my…

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On the Road Again

Cat got your tongue? 🙂 I know. What do you say to that story? Most people have heard about women doing crazy things to their children postpartum (I’m not researching that stuff right now but you can go for it). So there’s a stigma. Stigmas can’t be changed overnight. I can only relay my experiences.…

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Hard Work

Everyone’s got an opinion on what it is. And I’m over here exasperated. Have you really worked hard lately? Have you torn down any grapevines by hand, just to hurt your hands? Have you driven up and down the highway, for days, for hours, hauling cargo or foster kids? Have you dug anything lately? Have…

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What Really Happened

So yeah, I survived an assassination attempt. Delusional discussions begin here. I “survived” by diving into the weeds with a three year old and a seven month old baby at 11:00 a.m. on one of the last days of the summer. I had left the truck open in the driveway of the “house.” The house…

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Riding in the Passenger’s Seat

Shit, did you see that? It was like, the biggest eagle I’ve ever seen! But I should probably watch the road anyway. You didn’t see it? Man, you should keep an eye out. I know. You’re nervous now. You have that right. I come off as a little loca sometimes. Really, I’m just stalling on…

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I Know…The Road Trip…

Sit back dear. I’m sorry I left you on the roadside back there. But I came back for you, didn’t I? I threw you out and all but I’ve calmed down now, I swear. Forgive me. It’s just that, suddenly, you reminded me of something. A delusion I once had. I will drive a bit…

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Post Partum Psychosis

Post partum pyshcosis is an acute but terrifying condition that is caused by childbirth. This post is not to diagnose or treat. If you are feeling depressed with a new baby, or are having irrational thoughts, or thoughts of harming yourself or others seek medical help right away. I suffered from post partum psychosis and…

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